Sleep report with Matt

[childofrebellion]

In the morning after sleeping with Matt's spell under his pillow, Cassian wakes up with a start and realizes that he feels rested.

His dreams were full but not nightmares, he can't recall many times when that's happened. After stepping into the 'fresher, checking his wound that's healing cleanly and rebandaging it, he starts typing a report for Matt. He debates how deeply to describe the difference between the nightmares he usually has, so many of them are full of times he's had to kill for the Rebellion or missions that went wrong.

In the end, he keeps it simple and knows that Matt can ask for details, many of his reports to Draven are that way in case anything is intercepted and because Draven chooses to pick and choose what intel he shares. Its not ideal and he knows some missions have gone wrong because of missing pieces, ones he hadn't found and didn't know or someone didn't know, but lives have been saved too. No one can break and tell something they don't know. When he reaches the counter, he orders a caf and looks around for Matt and asks for the latest news on his pad.

Comments

[childofrebellion]

"Weaknesses in the Empire, sometimes that's people with information to share or ones thinking about defecting and putting together the pieces of what I find to understand what the Empire's planning. Other times its an opening for sabotage or doing some good. I find the ways in for the rest of the Rebellion,"

If he does his job well, no one can trace what he's done.

[semicharmed]

"How do you figure out when someone's thinking about defecting?"

[childofrebellion]

"It depends on the person but most people who want to help the Rebellion try to find us and ask for what they want. A lot of what I do is be the face of the Rebellion for them, someone they trust and understanding what they need and what we might get in terms of information."

[semicharmed]

"That sounds a little like revolutionary PR."

[childofrebellion]

"No, that's not my job. I'm not a face that should be remembered."

[semicharmed]

... Matt has at least three replies to that.

Manfully, he doesn't say any of them out loud.



"So people have to trust you ... but without really knowing you."

[childofrebellion]

"Some do get to know me, there are informants who rely on me. But the way Draven taught me is be a friend don't become a friend,"

He takes a drink of his caf as he doesn't say that aloud ever, those in Intelligence know it and those not in Intelligence wouldn't understand.

Starfighter pilots and other cells, they have their people, he has Kay while being a sort of friend to his connections.

[semicharmed]

Though not something he cultivates intentionally, the sentiment makes a certain sense to Matt. His version might be something more like be a lover but no one's love, or fall in love but don't be a lover--something about how he falls so easily. Like a satellite that keeps gravitating to new orbits.

"Let me know if I'm being too nosy," he says, apologetic.

[childofrebellion]

"You're not. I rarely talk about my work,"

And it feels like a way to say thank you to trust Matt with some of his truth.

[semicharmed]

Matt smiles, running a hand through his hair.

For those of you keeping track at home, on the road from 'tousled' to 'discovering electricity,' his hair is currently making a detour to 'eccentric professor on the verge of a terrible breakthrough.'

"As long as you don't mind. I rarely meet intelligence officers." A pause. "Or, I meet them all the time but keep getting cover stories. Or something in the middle of those two."

[childofrebellion]

Cassian's gaze goes to Matt's hair, it has a life of its own and he smiles,

"That makes sense though I don't work too hard on cover stories here. Its easier to let someone else talk."

[semicharmed]

He laughs.

"I like to think other people feel the same way. I never remember to think somebody here might be lying to me."

Which he's working on, we swear.

[childofrebellion]

"Lying's complicated, it can easily spin out of control. Being careful what you tell tends to be safer,"

That's what's the base for many people that Cassian knows, try not to expect harm or generosity, but be aware of the dangers. The ones who deal in deals are open about it and everyone holds the worry of being connected to the Empire. He knows he's more paranoid than others but he's the one who keeps everyone else safe.

[semicharmed]

"I think so. Even I can be discreet, and I have ... a lot of trouble with anything that isn't like, direct communication."

He may be selling himself short here, in the sense that he also has a pretty decent grasp of body language, go figure. But he doesn't enjoy lies or omission, and only engages in the latter out of necessity.

Then again, his parents borderline disowned him even without finding out he's a spell-casting bisexual. So maybe it wasn't worth it to spend all that energy on a double life when their highly conditional love was just gonna get removed by his choice to get a master's.

[childofrebellion]

"There's nothing wrong with that, the world would be simpler if we could all be more direct,"

He doesn't think he's ever been able to rely fully on direct communication with anyone outside the Rebellion and even there he doesn't share everything. He knows what he does isn't how the Rebellion sees itself so he stays in the shadows. After all, he's out on missions enough that its not that hard and Kay knows what matters.

[semicharmed]

He pulls a scrunched-up moue.

"Maybe a little bit. But the truth's pretty thorny in its own right, don't you think?"

[childofrebellion]

"Yes, it is but it also creates change. In my world, every time truth comes out about what the Empire does, everything shifts."

[semicharmed]

Matt tilts his head, letting that sink in.

He smiles.

"And that's your job."

[childofrebellion]

Cassian smiles and nods, "Yes, it is."

[semicharmed]

He gives an appraising nod in return.

"I like it."

[childofrebellion]

"I'll have to remember that," Its not usually how he thinks about what he does.

[semicharmed]

"Put it on your spy brochures," Matt advises.

[childofrebellion]

He laughs, "I will."

[semicharmed]

After a moment of slightly silly smug grinning, he adds:

"Ah--so, would you like me to make any changes to your charm? Any changes to its scent, or texture, or form factor?"

[childofrebellion]

The smug grinning is cute and Cassian thinks about that, "No, once I fell asleep, I forgot it was there."